Not much has changed in almost 30 years. I don’t have the tail anymore and my head is significantly larger. So there’s that.
Sometimes I watch porn bloopers, because nothing masks the shame of jerking it to a chick with daddy issues getting railed quite like jerking it to a chick with daddy issues getting railed and totally fucking up the shoot somehow.
And then I started thinking about ideal porn blooper scenarios. The ones that, if there were an America’s Funniest Home Videos for porn, would win the $10,000 and go on to the $100,000 grand finale.
You know how if you’re eating or drinking something and you start laughing, that particular thing has the possibility of shooting out of your nose?
Okay, so what if there’s a chick going down on some dude, and just as he’s going Number Three in her mouth, he says something really out of character or funny, or maybe he tells her a quick joke in the process. You know, a little workplace humor. Because everyone loves workplace humor.
So he tells her this joke, and it’s really funny. And I mean really fucking funny. So funny that she laughs so hard jizz shoots out of her nose.
Oh my God it would be hilarious.
I hate my brain.