Things I noticed after 41 hours of no sleep.

1. People move really fucking fast.
Driving home on Hour 37 of being awake, I noticed something peculiar about hour people were driving or walking down the street. They were moving twice as fast as I was. I couldn’t believe my lack of sleep had opened my eyes to how much slower I’d been moving my whole life.

2. People are really angry.
I found it strange those same people who were moving with such haste around me on the road  were also incredibly short-tempered. Specifically, they seemed to direct that anger and malice towards me, and I still can’t seem to put my finger on why. Sleep deprivation is an incredible tool to gain insight on peoples’ general attitude and demeanor.

And these people put the mean in demeanor. Let me tell you.

3. Coffee.
Coffee coffee coffee. Coffee coffeeeeeeeeeeeee? COFFEE. Coffee. Coughee. Coffee.

4. People talk a lot louder than I thought.
Another thing my sleep deprivation opened my eyes (ears, rather) to was the fact that people talk unnecessarily loud. More often than not I found myself with a splitting headache caused simply by the sounds of a person’s voice. I couldn’t believe I’d never noticed the volume at which people regularly spoke before. It’s like that all-nighter gave me superpowers.

5. Coffee.
Fucking coffee, you guys.

 

 

Okay guys I’m gonna go catch some Zs like they’re Pokemon and it’s fucking 1998.

 

Advertisements

Guest Post: Google, Go Home, You’re Drunk!

And now, a man who needs no introduction.

Because I introduced you guys to him last week.

Idiots.

Ladies and gentlemen, from the future to your living rooms (or your mom’s basement) — Daniel Nest.

Continue reading

Share or die!

Tommy was a happy boy. He had everything a kid needed: parents who loved him unconditionally, and friends he trusted. Teachers described him as a bright, ambitious young boy with vast potential.

But Tommy had a secret.

Continue reading

Things people love to tell you about.

Man, people never shut up.

Now more than ever, this world is plagued with self-validating narcissists.
Continue reading

Ten.

I graduated high school 10 years ago, on this day. These are the things I’ve learned since then:

Continue reading