Things I left off my résumé: Part 2

  • Dedication: I once binge-watched a 13-season television series on Netflix in six days.
  • Finance: Putting forth maximum effort to pay the minimum payment on my credit cards each month.
  • Passion: I’ve wished slow, painful deaths on no fewer than 17 NFL referees by yelling at them through the TV until my lungs bled.
  • Exploration: College was… interesting.
  • Restraint: Stopped watching Dexter at the end of Season 4 because I’d heard the last four seasons sucked shit. I know when to quit while I’m ahead. (RIP, Rita.)
  • Awareness: I always know exactly how many beers I have left in the fridge at any given time.
  • Generosity: Anyone who visits my house is given a free beer.
  • Cash-handling: Then I’ll charge them for the next one.
  • Thriftiness: I turn my condoms inside-out so they can be re-used.
  • Cleanliness: I’ll throw it away after its second use.

(Part I)

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4 thoughts on “Things I left off my résumé: Part 2

  1. Reading this reminds me I need to update my own resume, though the last two items don’t apply to me (and I am going to pretend not to my son either).

  2. There are a few ways to add those to your resume that make those positives. “I am generous yet cognizant with a goal-oriented focus,” covers Awareness through Cash-Handling. (Glad you’re back.)

  3. Who knows, maybe Tate Music Group stepped their game up after dealing with my cousin Asekor Glay.
    Prizes can amount to hundreds of thousands of dollars for each winner, particlurly
    in Trinidad and Tobago. It depends on how we perceived
    sounds and music providing a basic scale from.

Talk to me. I'm needy.

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