An open letter to late fees.

Dear Late Fees,

You show up at the library. You rear your ugly, stupid face at (the now few and far between) video rental stores. Someone missed the 24-hour return deadline for that Redbox flick? There you are, with that shit-eating grin of yours, demanding more.

Horrorscopes.

I summon the power of the planets and stars or whatever to bring you only the most accurate Horoscopes around.

Spreading the wordseed II.

Starsky and Hutch!

Brady and Moss!

Penn and Teller!

Walt and Jesse!

Jeff and Andrew?

You heard read correctly, folks! Andrew over at my blog away from blog, The Artist Mindset, has once again risked pageviews and followers by allowing me the opportunity to collaborate on yet another hilarious post for his blog.

Ten.

I graduated high school 10 years ago, on this day. These are the things I’ve learned since then:

Car alarm.

So there’s this car alarm that’s been going off for about 10 minutes in my apartment complex’s parking lot.

It went off once before. Short and sweet. Kind of a, “Oh, shit! I accidentally pushed the PANIC button on my key. My bad, neighbors! Won’t happen again!”