Last week, I had some fun giving Urban Dictionary a run for its money by giving completely new definitions to some pretty common words. Since I had so much fun with it, I’m going to take that idea and mercilessly beat it to the ground.
A shot of one’s preferred liquor mixed with the content of one’s coffee mug.
“What’s up with Joe? He’s been in the employee bathroom for an hour trying to call his ex-girlfriend.”
“One too many mugshots, probably.”
Japanese for “hello.”
A man with two penises who suffers from erectile dysfunction. Twice.
“You hear about Todd? Only guy born with two dicks and the poor bastard has misdirection. That really sucks the donkey’s balls.”
“Look at those double chins over there. I’ve heard jokes about not being able to tell Asians apart, but this is ridiculous.”
Term used to describe someone who just got over a fit of diarrhea.
“Hey man, your stomach still bothering you?”
“Nah, I’m good. I had some major diarrhea, but now it’s pretty much all gonorrhea.
The frequency or regularity of the need to satisfy one’s bicuriosity.
“What’s up with Ted? He’s being uncomfortably flirty with me. I thought he was into chicks.”
“Don’t mind him. He’s probably just on his bicycle. It’ll pass.”
Have your own bullshit definitions? Leave them in the comments!